OMFG

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
11/10/2016 at 19:48 • Filed to: None

I stopped for gas tonight. Since the gas tax went up in New Jersey, it no longer matters where I stop for gas*.

I get out of the car. Open the tank. Swipe my card. Remove the nozzle. Press Premium. Go to inset nozzle. The hose hits Plus. I go to press Premium. It’s locked out. I cancel. I return the nozzle.

I swipe my card. Remove the nozzle. Press Premium. Go to inset nozzle. The hose hits Plus. I go to press Premium. It’s locked out. I cancel. I return the nozzle.

I swipe my card. Amex has now frozen my card, since I’ve had three $125 pre-authorizations for gas in 30 seconds.

In my many years of driving, I’ve never once had the hose change the grade, but this time it wouldn’t stop

So I dig around for my bank card. Swipe it PUT THE NOZZLE IN FIRST. Select Premium.

Then my Jag decides to do the thing it sometimes does and keeps triggering the shut-off. I didn’t even need gas, I had 3/4 of a tank, but now it was personal. So I sat there for over five minutes with the trigger depressed about a 1/10 of the way, watching it slowly click in at a rate of about $0.01 a second.

* As an aside, people who regularly pump their own gas are a bit delusional. Yes, all things being equal, it’s faster to pump your own, but my experience has been that most of the time, if a pump isn’t open, it’s always slower since half the drivers are inside paying cash. Leaving your car when getting gas in New Jersey is a way to get run over by the person waiting behind you, so at peak times, it’s always faster.

DISCUSSION (24)

iaintafraidofnoghost > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 19:52

Where can you self-serve in Jersey? All the gas stations I’ve been to I had to wait until an attendant came with their card to activate the pump.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 19:53

My old Outback used to trigger the shut off all the time. It drove me insane every time I got gas.

Honeybunchesofgoats > iaintafraidofnoghost
11/10/2016 at 19:55

In this case, I was in Delaware. But from experience, I can tell you that no one at Wawa in New Jersey cares if you pump your own if it’s busy. Most of the time, they thank me.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 19:56

The Alfa sometimes triggers the shutoff, I have learned that putting the nozzle in so the handle sticks out sideways rather that straight down prevents that.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
11/10/2016 at 19:57

As far as I can tell, it has something to do with the vent getting blocked and the trapped vapor making the shutoff trigger. My vent is under the lid to the filler, which is mounted vertically. It almost always happens in the rain or snow, but also in the cold for some reason.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 19:59

My v70R did that all the time.

Damn Vapor locking so you had to barely touch the trigger.

I actually got yelled at by an old guy who said “That click means it’s full” when I told him I was on empty he looked confused and walked away

Honeybunchesofgoats > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
11/10/2016 at 19:59

In my case, the cap is mounted vertically, but I do find that angling the nozzle slightly towards the front of the car is usually more effective.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 20:00

I think the tube warped over 15 New England summers and winters (doesn’t help that it is a dark colored car). If you didn’t get it in a just the right angle it wouldn’t work.

Honeybunchesofgoats > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
11/10/2016 at 20:00

That’s one of my fears, especially since I have New Jersey plates and assume that everyone things that I don’t know how to pump my own gas.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
11/10/2016 at 20:10

An attendant once told me that newer pumps tend to pump faster, which sometimes triggers older cars’ shutoff. I have no idea if that’s true though.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 20:16

It’s bad enough that you can never take it to a full service station. You would never get any gas before it triggers.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 20:17

Even though I was empty, I remember only putting in $3 or so because I was ready to burn the car down or send it to the scrap yard the next day and just wanted to get home.

That $3 worth of gas took me over 10 minutes to pump

Amoore100 > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
11/10/2016 at 21:36

Are you sure it was the car and not you? I had the same problem with my V50 but my dad never did so once we went together once and he showed me that you really have to force the nozzle inwards and downwards to get a proper seal.

wiffleballtony > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 21:50

I haven’t seen anyone pay for gas with cash in like 5 years.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Amoore100
11/10/2016 at 22:18

Yeah the c30 never did it to me and that was the only time the v70 did it. I mean, I was trying to show off a bit before so I pushed it, I guess it didn’t enjoy it very much.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 22:24

Thanks Chris Crispy

Amoore100 > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
11/10/2016 at 22:28

Volvos are sentient. The V50 decided to run rich when we took it in for smog last week, triggering a CEL which disappeared the same day Trump proposed repealing emissions standards. I’d like to think it was my spirited mountain driving on Saturday that cleared it when my two girl friends and I went hiking and got lost for four hours, but it didn’t disappear until yesterday so it’s probably Trump’s doing. Dammit Cygnus, stop scaring me like that!

Kinja'd!!!

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > Honeybunchesofgoats
11/10/2016 at 22:40

A thing I learned pumping gas in a land where gravel roads are king and EVERY car has a clogged vent line:

Pulling the nozzle out slightly can allow trapped air back out the fill neck, meaning you can fill a bit quicker. You don’t even have to hold it there, just pull it out a couple inches.

Although this doesn’t always work, eg in California where the gas pumps are ridiculous but more environmentally friendly, or with some newer cars without proper gas caps.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Amoore100
11/10/2016 at 22:51

That’s one thing I definitely miss in the accord. It has no real character or personality. I can beat on it all I want, and it’ll still return near 30 mpg or better, never make a bad noise, and never throw a cel.

Amoore100 > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
11/11/2016 at 00:26

It’s a bit dog eared on the bumpers, the hood clearcoat is peeling, and random warning lights enjoy coming on at inopportune moments but the V50 is nothing if not filled with personality. Even my friend remarked that, “your car is such a smooth car” despite the fact that I drive it like a madman, redlining it quite often (gotta do the Italian tune-up, ya know) and squealing the tires when pulling out of driveways quite by accident. Yet when I’m tired, I stick it into auto and it practically drives itself home. Fuck if it doesn’t get on my nerves sometimes (ahem, a squealing fan belt is not what I want to here while coming back from the shop, jeez) but I love it to bits. Some days I wish I had a Honda when I start it up and the CEL is glaring at me and the engine sounds like a blender but then everything warms up and it’s like knifing through hot butter. Ford did an amazing job with that chassis.

Tristan > iaintafraidofnoghost
11/11/2016 at 05:39

Was about to ask the same thing... So Oregon is the only place where it’s truly illegal to pump your own? I really do hate that stupid law.

iaintafraidofnoghost > Tristan
11/12/2016 at 18:03

Agreed. The amount of time it takes for someone to come over is infuriating . I had a guy the other day messing on his cell phone for ten minutes.... ugh

Tristan > iaintafraidofnoghost
11/12/2016 at 18:33

There is always a line, I have to repeat “fill regular”, my phone number (store rewards) and my credit zip code at least 3 times each, I’m always having gas spilled on the side of my car and I’m forced to have enthralling conversations about the attendant’s daughter’s urinary tract infection. FUCK I HATE THAT LAW.

I start a new job near the state line next week... maybe I’ll just start filling up in Washington.

iaintafraidofnoghost > Tristan
11/12/2016 at 21:37

I get torn with how many people it keeps employed, but my sanity is waning haha